I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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