OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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