also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Randomize
