Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
