I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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