Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
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Do I have a choice?
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Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
