No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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