ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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