i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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