The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She even gives head with a lisp.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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