I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
