belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
organizing the empties. That sober.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
