well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
