Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
