we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
