the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
