Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
