At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
