Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Are we in a gay sports bar?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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