I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
