She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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