I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
