If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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