Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize