just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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