Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
