who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
