everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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