god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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