guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
you're hired as official boob wrangler
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
