God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
