Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
