literally had 100 drinks last night.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
