Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
