apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
