mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
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he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
The beer is more important than you right now.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
