you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
