But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize