O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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