Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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