I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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