Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize