can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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