My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
