In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize