I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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