They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
