I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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