Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He better not be in your backpack
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
