i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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