at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I just want to make out with him forever
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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