Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
