Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
