everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
