I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize