There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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