Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
