I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
