I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize
