In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
