lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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