One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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