Will you blow on my dice?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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