Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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