it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
meet me or not, i'm out of control
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
